Have you ever had the feeling that you’re less than what you used to be? Because I have. I sometimes feel that growing up has meant fading, and making a living has meant postponing life. I’ve tried to fight that — tried to tread the road less traveled, tried to do things my way — but sometimes it feels like a losing battle. Lost my muchness, have I? We’ll see about that.

Wasted 2 Hours & 30 Minutes

And not in a good way. I really hate it when you get very excited to see someone and end up sitting in a bookshop staring at books that you don’t have the slightest of interest. And then when you are just ready to leave, tada! they suddenly appear. I know I don’t have the right to get angry or anything,  I mean it’s the fuckin’ network’s fault but maybe I was a little bit mad because this incident already happened a million times in the past. After our 10 minute stroll around the mall. I decided not to go to dinner with them. I decided not to stay. I left. And surprisingly, I was happy with my decision.

I went inside the 12G jeepney and had a 25 minute ride home. In that 25 minutes, I thought of a lot of things. Okay a lot maybe an exaggeration. I only have 8. Here is the list:

1. I will try my very best not to hate my F.R.I.E.N.D.S so much. No any other explanation needed.
2. When deciding for something big/important in your life, never ask the opinion of your friends or better yet, don’t let them get in the way of things. I’ve learned this the hard way. I can’t even let it out yet. The anger, the rage I felt after my bestfriend left me to proceed to another profession in a different college. The mere fact that she was the one who made me change my mind from taking up accountancy into taking up nursing makes me angry especially during nowadays that people don’t give a crap about nurses. I feel so betrayed. So to recapitulate, ask advice only from yourself, from your parents, from your siblings, neighbors (?) but never from your friends.
3. Never ever forget to pay your debts. Friends and money don’t mix.
4. Everything happens for a reason. You may not understand it now but you eventually will. When I got home from that horrible meet up with my friends, my mother cooked the most delicious dinner in the whole wide world. This example is not really the best one but you get my point.
5. The time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time. And by that, I mean my being bum for the summer.
6. I can’t wait to go to my room and watch Desperate Housewives.
7. Sleeping is nice. You forget everything even just for a little while.
8. And lastly, the person at my right side is totally flaming hot. LOL

That’s it.

Maybe I will be watching a little porn movie after my DH marathon.

5 out of 10.

Here is an article (???) I stumbled earlier while browsing tumblr. I find this really funny mainly because I have a friend who I think is very gay and after reading this write up, I can truly say that he is in fact a fag. LOL (Just look at numbers 3, 4, 6, 8 and 9). I especially love the X-Men factor. Enjoy reading.

10 Signs Your Boyfriend is Gay

10. The Bathroom Rituals

Pay attention to his grooming habits. Notice how he meticulously does his hair. Try to find out how he chose the grooming products he owns. An average guy doesn’t care about what brand or what type of products he uses. Is he particularly interested in top designer shoes and other accessories? Another warning sign is the time he spends inside the bathroom. If he takes longer than you do, that may be a sign that he’s batting for the other team.

9. The Diva Fanaticism

People always consider gay guys to be fans of many divas. If your boyfriend likes listening to divas such as Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand and (God forbid) Cher, then he might be one flaming gay man. Have you ever seen your boyfriend listening to any of these divas’ records? Or worse, have you ever heard him singing any of their songs? And if he indeed sings their songs, does he do it in falsetto? If your answer is yes, then that could be a sign.

8. The Beauty Pageant Obsession

For some reason, gay guys love watching beauty pageants, as far as stereotypes are concerned. These events are a celebration of beauty and glamor that many gay people really value. Of course, your boyfriend won’t let his fascination with beauty pageants be known, but if you really want to know, here’s a quick tip. While talking about another topic, ask this question out of the blue: “Oh by the way, who was the 1999 Miss Universe?” If he is able to give you an answer, be scared. Be very scared. Gay people often also love awards shows such as the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Emmys, the Grammys and many others.

7. The Shifty Eyes

Another excellent way to know if your boyfriend is gay is by simply observing his eyes. Yep, it’s all in the eyes. The next time you two are walking in a mall or around a local park with numerous people, notice how his eyes move. Some gay people let their eyes wander and jump from one guy to another. Notice how he shifts his vision when a hot man passes by. If his eyes are shifty when he is around men, he might be gay.

6. The Urinal Dilemma

A closeted gay man also feels uncomfortable and uneasy around straight guy friends as he tries hard not to show his concealed sexuality. In a public men’s room, a closeted gay man is also uncomfortable using any empty urinal when other straight men are using the ones near his. Often, instead of using the urinals, he would go inside a cubicle and just pee into the toilet bowl.

5. The Oprah Quotes

Gay men, whether out or closeted, are inspired by many gay people who have proven their worth in history. There is just pure pride and sense of accomplishment that many gay guys feel when someone gay is able to achieve something. This can be evident in his in-depth knowledge about these things. Can he last even five minutes without quoting Oscar Wilde? Does he keep on stressing out that Alexander the Great was gay and that he was in love with his best friend? Does he always talk about how Oprah did something amazing? Okay, Oprah is not gay, but many gay people love her.

4. The X-Men Factor

Do you play video games with your boyfriend? If so, you’ll be glad that there is also a way of knowing if he is guy just by looking at his character choices. Many gay men would pick a female character in a game with a versus mode. For example, in X-Men, Storm is a gay man’s favorite. It has not been proven whether there is a psychological explanation for this, but it is a trend. If your boyfriend chooses a male character, it doesn’t mean that you’re safe. Cyclops is also often a gay man’s pick because, well, he is extremely hot. And he abhors Jean Grey for that.

3. The Fashion Compliments

Your boyfriend might be gay if he gives you too many compliments in a very unmanly way. For example, instead of saying “You look beautiful,” he’ll say, “I like the way your top matches your tanned skin, and oh, your boots are so fetch.” If you hear that from your boyfriend, don’t feel glad. You might just have a gay partner.

2. The Downright Gay-bashing

Gay people hiding inside the closet are usually very vocal about their distaste and hatred for gay men. While it seems a little counterintuitive, there is a reason why they do it. Because they don’t want to be caught or be suspected that they are gay, they would cover their true identity by blatantly expressing their rage against gay men. They also tend to overdo this; thus, they become harsh gay-bashers. If your boyfriend is like that, then he might be gay. As one adage goes, the greatest homophobe is homosexual.

1. The Hot Guys on his MySpace

Check out his MySpace page. One of the most definitive signs that your boyfriend is gay is that there are some male strangers in his MySpace list of friends or contacts. If you have never seen these men or you don’t know whether they are your boyfriend’s friends in person, they might just have had their communication online. An average straight guy won’t view a profile of a man he doesn’t know personally, much less add him to his list of contacts. It’s not just MySpace; browse through his Facebook or Friendster page and see if you can find some. Or worse, research and try to find out if he has accounts in gay networking sites. You can also check your browser’s history to see if he has visited any gay adult sites on the web.

Happiness.

I’m not choosing to be straight, gay, or bisexual. I’m choosing to be happy because that’s all that really counts in life. Happiness.

MLTR Song That I Love.

Life comes in many shapes
You think you know what you got
Until it changes

And life will take you high and low
You gotta learn how to walk
And then which way to go

Every choice you make
When you’re lost
Every step you take
Has it’s cause

After you clear your eyes
You’ll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You’ll feel the sun come
And though it seems your sorrow never ends
Someday it’s gonna make sense

Tears you shed are all the same
When you laughed ’till you cried
Or broken down in pain

All the hours you have spent in the past
Worrying about
A thing that didn’t last

Everything you saw
Played a part
In everything you are
In your heart

After you clear your eyes
You’ll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You’ll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends…

Someday you’re gonna find the answers
To all the things you’ve become and all they’ve done
At your expense
Someday it’s gonna make sense

After the rain has gone
You’ll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends

Someday it’s gonna make sense
Someday it’s gonna make sense

After the rain has gone
You’ll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends

Someday it’s gonna make sense

Is It Weird?

that I kinda want a girl friend that I can fool around with at sleepovers but still not be awkward with when we hangout with other friends? I don’t mean to be in a relationship but just to have a friend who I can hangout with naked in my room all day? Idk maybe that’s weird but that’d be super fun. But not a fat girl or a stick-thin girl Just a normal one. It’d be so much fun to just come home from school, go to my room and lock the door and just take everything off and watch movies, do each other’s nails, sit on Tumblr, dance, explore curiosities, just talk and cuddle? That’d be soooo much fun! Anyone else like that?

BUT I THINK it would be more fun and more interesting if IT WER A GUY.

ROFFLE.

and NO, it’s not weird, it’s AWESOME!

It’s Because I Am.

Quit.

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

I finally had the courage to quit my job.

I Need Help.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT MY DREAM JOB IS.

WHAT IF I NEVER FIND MY DREAM JOB?