Archive for July, 2010

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5. Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.

9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.



Superiority Complex.

Superiority Complex refers to an overly high opinion of oneself. In psychology, it refers to the unrealistic and exaggerated belief that one is better than others.

I am a little concerned about how i behaved in the hospital today. You see, I am a nurse trainee in one of the tertiary hospitals here in the Philippines. It’s a 3 month training consisting of 480 hours of clinical training and experience. I am assigned in the most toxic ward in the hospital, the Medical Ward. We have a census of around 65-80 patients per shift. 30% of the patients needs monitoring, 10% are in critical conditions and 5% needs an ambubag and other resuscitation materials at bedside. That is how toxic and stressful the ward is.

Going back to my inappropriate behavior. There are 6 trainees in the ward including me. We come from different schools in the metropolis. We have different attitudes towards nursing and have different clinical experiences as a student. The only similarity we have is that this is our first clinical experience as registered nurses. Here is the thing, 50% of us doesn’t like the course (i think) or maybe the training program. Some of of my co-trainees suddenly disappears, some just like to sit in the lounging area and some are just there– physically present but mentally absent. It’s just sad because as I mentioned earlier, the ward is very toxic and they just don’t care. And  I don’t like it when nurses refuse to care. I hate it when your co-workers are killing themselves managing the ward while some are just lying around as if everything is okay.

The problem with me is that I seem to think that these “co-trainees” don’t deserve my attention and time. I don’t talk to them a lot. If they try to reach out, I will always make it a point to end the conversation as soon as possible. I don’t even join them during lunch time. It’ss as if I have this superiority complex over them. What makes things worst, and take note, I’m really embarrassed by this, is that I tell my friends of how annoying and how stupid they can get. I know, it’s mean. I know that I don’t have any right to say bad things about their level of knowledge in the ward nor the ability of the school where they graduated to educate them but I can’t help it at times. But I know that what I’m doing is freakishly wrong. Just because they don’t think the way I think doesn’t mean that I’m correct and they’re wrong. Just because I’m a little more familiar with the ward doesn’t mean that I am competent and they are not. And just because I graduated at a state university doesn’t make their school education a little less than mine.

I am terribly sorry for the bad things I may have said about them today. I really feel bad. I will really try my best to communicate and mingle with my co-trainees starting today. If I see any flaws, I will try to ignore it or maybe help out on things. I will try not to be easily angered and I will try to be positive no matter what. And if things really get out of hand, I am hoping that I can manage to just let it be and not dwell much about it. No more superiority complex. No more mister-know-it-all. No more smart-aleck. No more bitch-from-next-door attitude. Help me God.